I have had this blog created for about 2 months now. I pretty much had the title decided on immediately. I obsessed over the look of the blog for about a month. Researched, walked away, revisited (did I mention obsessed?) until I settled on its current look. Next, the creation of the first blog entry. My blog title was inspired by a song that I wrote, so I decided instead of opening with some introductory “blah, blah, blah” blog entry, I would do a video entry. A song (from which I also quoted in the sub-title…is it arrogant to quote your own song lyrics? I digress….) capturing the heart of my blog with guitar and vocals performed by none other than…me. Perfect. Wait, am I forgetting that I am a fulltime mom to three kids five and under? I am kidding myself to think that there exists in my life a window of time, small as it may need to be, where there is enough quiet and solitude to self-record this entry? And should one arise, singing out loud would surely bring a quick and sudden death to such a rare and oh so beautiful moment.
As if this obstacle was not grandiose enough, I predetermined in my mind what my personal look should be in this video in which I would have my debut opportunity to “serenade the world.” You know, one part artsy, one part trendy, with a splash of quirky and sophisticated maturity thrown in the mix. So now not only do I need a quiet place to record, but I need to have showered, done my hair to acceptable standards, make-up on (maybe a little heavier than an average day) and hmmmmm what to wear….?
I am obviously debuting my blog video entry-less. Though I have not gone without attempts; ones marked by battling (need I mention screaming?) toddlers and me in turn, unable to refrain from laughing and pointlessly improvising “oh the insanity” lyrics into my interrupted song.
This very instance echoes a pattern in my life. Too often, if I am unable to carry out something as perfectly as it is constructed in my head, my heart, my expectations….it remains just there; Unimpactful, unsubstantiated, invisible, unacquired. All the amazing ideas, intentions, plans, even visions inside me mound up to a big pile of nothing if I never do anything about them.
So this is me, being honest about me, but changing that pattern. Here is my introductory “blah, blah, blah” blog entry. But instead of a title page with a blank blog body that I’ve been staring at for 2 months, I am putting words on the page. I am FINALLY getting started. It may not be what I wanted it to be, but it’s something! And this something feels good to do… and you never know, you just may see that video blog one day soon….
